For two days straight, the imperial seal did not move a muscle.
Xiao Zhi went from anticipation to disappointment, and finally to numbness.
“Are you not here?” He traced every line and crevice of the seal. “That’s right—the palace has neither good food nor good entertainment.”
The memories of a thousand years later were like a faded photograph. He vaguely recalled the taste of mango, and the strange drinks Yun Yi had bought.
The oddest-tasting was coffee, the most stimulating was cola, and the best was milk tea.
Yun Yi had been a “food thief” for two days. She patted her belly—still hadn’t eaten her fill today.
Before the meal was served, the palace attendants would first bring the Emperor’s dishes to the side chamber, where each course was portioned into small bowls by eunuchs and personally tasted for safety.
Every day, Yun Yi was carried around in the Emperor’s bosom, growing so hungry she felt dizzy.
She had observed Xiao Zhi’s daily routine: before meals, he would go change his clothes. At that moment, she would quickly materialize, sprint to the side chamber at top speed, and hide under the dining table.
By the time the Emperor called for the meal, the tasting eunuch was already meticulously portioning out the dishes.
Yun Yi would snatch up silver chopsticks and a silver spoon, wait for the right moment, pop out, and steal food.
She ate whatever she could grab—she wasn’t picky.
When the eunuch carried the tray in to serve, Yun Yi would slip out and dash back to the Emperor’s desk at a hundred-meter sprint.
The Emperor would return from changing and washing his hands to eat.
She would revert to her seal form and collapse on the table.
As for this effortless shape-shifting—she had had it ever since she crossed over this time. Had she somehow achieved mastery of some divine skill?
.
The morning stars still glimmered.
The palace attendants preparing to help the Emperor change caught sight of a heap of gold, silver, and jewels piled up before his pillow.
Among that dazzling pile of treasures, there was a striking streak of jade white.
The Emperor, as if possessed, spoke to the great seal: “Do you like it? These are for you. If it’s not enough, we’ll go pick more from the treasury.”
Yun Yi lay amid the mountain of gold vessels, her mind full of get-rich-quick fantasies—her will had been corroded by capital.
She nearly opened her mouth to speak.
“Then come to court with me.” Xiao Zhi scooped it up and tucked it into his sleeve, his face taut. “We share the hardship together.”
Yun Yi’s get-rich dream shattered: I don’t work!
In the court hall, Minister Yan held up the imperial edict, his words dripping with tears: “If Your Majesty wishes to postpone the consort selection, you could simply discuss it with us ministers. If Your Majesty has grievances against us, you could say so directly. But this edict…”
Xiao Zhi frowned. What was the matter with these old relics? Were they trying to defy his orders again?
Wang Delan carried a tray and presented the edict to the Emperor.
The edict was covered in messy stamps and seals.
The Emperor’s name had been scribbled over—beneath the character “Zhi,” someone had even added a simple little animal drawing.
The ministers couldn’t read it, but Xiao Zhi had been to the modern era and recognized that kind of stick-figure drawing—the kind children drew with colored markers.
Who else but Yun Yi could have drawn on his edict?
Why had she drawn him as a turtle, with two tiny turtle eggs beside it? A turtle’s son-of-a—?
The ministers below could no longer stand still. Who hadn’t seen an imperial edict before?
Even a lowly seventh-rank official, let alone the Emperor himself, would have bellowed “Outrageous!” at the sight.
But their most majestic sovereign?
Perfectly composed.
At that moment, he was silently reading the simplified Chinese characters on the edict, word by word.
Xiao Zhi pieced together the characters he recognized and guessed most of it.
[Thirty… consorts… why not marry three… wife?]
What did “wife” mean?
[For the next eighty-two years of your life, a bridegroom every… night?]
Meaning he would marry every day?
Ha—being emperor was already tiresome enough. Was he not even entitled to a moment of peace?
After court, he would still have to return to the harem, maneuvering among the consorts, playing the difficult role of the peacekeeper who had to treat everyone equally?
With his father’s example before him, Xiao Zhi had no desire to repeat the same mistakes. Back when his father was still a general of the previous dynasty, he already had a swarm of wives and concubines. After he rebelled and declared himself emperor, the harem swelled to three thousand beauties.
After his father’s death, the consorts were either buried alive with him or sent off to nunneries, and the sons fought over the throne…
The court was unusually silent. Everyone was waiting for the Emperor’s judgment.
The one cowering inside the imperial seal felt her scalp prickle.
She had been so carefree when defacing the edict—now she was equally filled with dread.
Today would surely be her day of reckoning.
Seeing the Emperor say nothing, the most senior veteran minister boldly spoke up:
“Your Majesty, such a reckless scoundrel who defies the heavenly majesty—your servant petitions that Minister Cen Ni, the Minister of Justice, take charge of this case.”
Cen Ni’s breath caught. He had just finished handling the Northern Di envoy affair, and now he was being handed another thorny case?
In the great hall, voices of assent rose one after another from the ministers.
Yun Yi: This felt exactly like when a Class-A fugitive’s portrait was circulated across the internet and the entire society joined in the manhunt.
“We must thoroughly investigate this person.”
“Punish severely and without leniency!”
The ministers’ spittle flew everywhere.
The Emperor gathered his sleeves, reached into the inner layer, and suddenly pressed down on the little beast atop the seal.
Yun Yi: “…” Right at the critical moment, her ears were covered again.
Was there something unsuitable for her to hear next?
She stopped pretending and bit Xiao Zhi’s pinky finger. The large hand covering her flinched, then tentatively extended its index finger, pressing it against her lips.
Was this an invitation for her to keep biting? The gesture was exactly like how she fed her bestie’s golden-shaded British Shorthair those chew sticks.
Yun Yi paused. She didn’t even have teeth.
Her whole body was wrapped in the wide sleeve, with fragments of the ministers’ debates occasionally filtering in.
Whenever someone mentioned “execution,” the large hand would cover her ears again.
The Emperor was quite displeased: “Minister Yan, I hear that Jiangzhou has seen heavy snow—a sight rare in a century. Why not take your family there to enjoy it?”
Jiangzhou was the northernmost place in the Yan Dynasty—an excellent destination for military exile.
“Jiangzhou is a place of banishment… Your Majesty, you cannot!” Minister Yan dropped to his knees with a slap. “Your Majesty, have mercy!”
“Hmph.”
From that point on, no one in the court dared to mention the defaced edict again.
Yun Yi, having heard only half of it, thought to herself: Was the Emperor going to banish her to some frozen wasteland?
Imagine—she doodled on an official document, and her boss mistakenly posted it on the internal network for the entire company to see. The boss lost all face, and the first person to get fired would be her.
The consort selection matter was easily brushed aside, and no one in court brought it up again.
After court, Xiao Zhi felt immensely relieved.
The young emperor leaned casually against the vermilion pillar, his imperial boot resting on the dragon head carved into the column base.
Beyond the golden eaves, great swaths of white clouds drifted past.
A breeze lifted his wide sleeves, revealing the hand steadily holding the imperial seal.
He was about to praise the “mastermind behind the scenes” when he remembered those simplified characters on the edict he couldn’t read. “Hey—what does ‘wife’ mean?”
Yun Yi felt an inexplicable irritation. Was he about to hold her accountable?
Yes. She was the one standing in the way of him taking thirty wives.
She was the stumbling block.
Xiao Zhi’s fingertip pressed deep against the beast’s mouth, his gentle tone masking the menace in his brow: “You had the nerve to deface an imperial edict—why won’t you bite me anymore?”
The mythical beast atop the seal remained crouched in place, like a playing-dead little animal motionless in the hunter’s hands.
“Playing dead, are you?” Xiao Zhi feigned anger. “Wang Delan, bring a basin of water.”
“Your servant obeys.”
Yun Yi: “!” Look at this vindictive tyrant—surely such a minor offense didn’t warrant being drowned in a pig cage!
“Your humble brother greets the Imperial Brother.”
The Emperor’s smile faded.
A streak of white, jade-like luster vanished into the bright yellow sleeve. The Fifth Prince, Xiao Li, stared at the Emperor for a good while before finally raising his head, a sycophantic grin on his face: “Imperial Brother, aren’t you returning to the palace?”
Xiao Zhi: “And you, Fifth Brother, aren’t you as well?”
“How could my humble little hovel compare to Imperial Brother’s nine-layered celestial palace.”
Xiao Zhi shifted his stance, and behind him the continuous halls and pavilions sprawled like an exquisite sand table, their glazed tiles reflecting the sun—a scene of empire painted into the very landscape.
With a light flick of his wide sleeve, the Emperor said generously: “Pick one, and I’ll let you have it. How about that?”
Xiao Li seemed to ponder, then tested the waters: “Imperial Brother, you flatter me. How would I dare harbor such presumptuous thoughts? Why not instead bestow upon your humble brother that little trinket hidden in your sleeve, for me to play with?”
From a distance earlier, he had clearly caught a glimpse of Xiao Zhi turning something between his fingers—it appeared to be a piece of jade.
“Play with?” Xiao Zhi’s tone turned icy. “You’re not worthy. Guards—”
Xiao Li took an inexplicable beating and lay on his bed wailing, his skin split open.
“Mother… go invite the Empress Dowager to come see me…”
His confidants had already sent word to the Empress Dowager’s palace, but no imperial carriage arrived—only Imperial Physician Zhang, dispatched by the Empress Dowager.
At that moment, in Cining Palace, the Empress Dowager paced anxiously back and forth: “It must be that fool he sent to assassinate the Emperor who got caught! The Emperor is using this to send a warning.”
How had she given birth to such a pile of mud?
.
The masked assassins involved in the plot were the Fifth Prince’s men. Xiao Zhi knew this perfectly well—if not for the Empress Dowager’s backing, he would have had Xiao Li hacked to pieces long ago.
This matter still required careful long-term planning.
Having just finished discussing state affairs with his ministers, Xiao Zhi took the opportunity to change his clothes. When he returned, he instinctively looked for the imperial seal on the desk.
The bright yellow tray was empty.
Not there?
“Wang Delan?”
“Your servant—” Wang Delan followed the Emperor’s gaze to the tray, and the entire stack of memorials he was holding crashed to the floor with a bang.
Xiao Zhi could not find his imperial seal.
His great seal had called it quits.
Where exactly had the problem arisen?
Had the ministers’ clamoring for blood in court this morning scared her off?
Had she been frightened all the way home, without even a word of farewell?
Eunuchs and maids knelt before the imperial desk, searching over and over—but the seal was nowhere to be seen.
“I ordered you to guard the seal and not leave it for an instant.” Xiao Zhi had assigned Yu Lian’er to watch over the seal, because she was familiar with Yun Yi.
Yu Lian’er knew it was a capital offense. She knocked her head against the floor in frantic kowtows.
“Reporting to Your Majesty… this servant clearly saw the seal sitting motionless on the desk. In the blink of an eye, there was a green figure. I tried to see more clearly, but then Your Majesty arrived… so this servant could only, could only first kowtow to Your Majesty.”
Xiao Zhi nearly laughed in exasperation: “So by that logic, it’s my fault?”
“!” Yu Lian’er was terrified.
“What green figure?”
“This servant dare not speak falsely—every word is true.”
Xiao Zhi recalled that during the few days he had stayed at Yun Yi’s home, she had received a package filled entirely with green clothing.
According to Yun Yi, it was a holiday gift from her mother.
Yun Yi had tried it on right away—a light lake-green outfit, topped with an incongruous red sock on her head.
At the time, Xiao Zhi had been holding a cup of yogurt—it was thick and sticky, so he hadn’t dared drink it.
Who knew that Yun Yi would scowl and call him an uncultured bumpkin, snatch the yogurt cup, and chug it down in one go.
Her lips were smeared white, like two little white mustaches.
“Ugly.”
“Philistine! This is called Santa Claus!”
“Was it a lake-green figure?” Xiao Zhi asked the maid. The maid thought of the shimmering waters of the Imperial Lake and nodded eagerly.
Xiao Zhi exhaled in half-relief.
Good news: she was still here.
Bad news: she had run off.
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