Xiao Zhi saw her dash forward a few steps and plunge headfirst into the giant white bear’s gaping maw.
His expression shifted dramatically. Forgetting all about any ancient ferocious beast, he sprinted after her.
Yun Yi’s fingertips had just brushed the edge of the dragon robe when—her waist tightened. An arm locked firmly around her, yanking her backward with tremendous force.
The world spun upside down. Sound and color dissolved around her.
The upper half of her body was hooked against the overwhelmingly imposing Emperor’s side, like the pitiful radish in a radish-pulling game.
The next second.
CRASH—!
The man-high old clothes recycling bin went flying with a single kick from Xiao Zhi.
The panda toppled straight onto its back. Countless garments flew out of its smiling mouth.
Old shirts, old pants, old shoes, old socks… scattered like celestial maidens scattering flowers.
“…” Yun Yi’s heart died a little right there.
Luckily, the whole village had gone to the ancestral rite.
Only a delivery cart passed by the panda. The courier’s mouth went: . → O → O
Times were tough, huh? A decent-looking girl resorting to stealing old clothes?
Ignoring the courier’s stunned stare, Yun Yi yanked out the dragon robe and stood beside the fallen panda like a wronged little bunny. “You tip it back up!”
Xiao Zhi: “The white pi bear is ferocious—”
Yun Yi was not about to indulge him. She snapped the dragon robe’s sleeves and whipped them left and right against his arms. “It’s a panda! Pan-da!”
“Apologize to our national treasure!”
“An emperor apologizes to a national treasure?” Since ascending the throne, he had never endured such humiliation. This was sheer cosmic inversion.
“I’m to apologize to an inanimate statue? What good would that do?” Xiao Zhi added.
There was a police station at the village entrance. Yun Yi’s face turned serious. “Apologize! Or else when the police come, I won’t be able to protect you.”
Uncertain what “police” meant, Xiao Zhi only found her furious, flailing demeanor rather amusing. “Oh~ I’m sorry?”
Listen to his tone!
Yun Yi nearly exploded, then forced herself to calm down. She tried to put herself in Xiao Zhi’s shoes. An ancient person transmigrating to the modern world, surrounded by bizarre sights, every single one of his understandings shattered.
A poor soul who didn’t even recognize a panda… As her peripheral vision caught Xiao Zhi righting the panda statue, she thought, He must be so scared inside he wants to call for his mom.
Just then, an elderly man in a wheelchair happened to be passing by. “Miss, are you done arguing with your boyfriend? Could I trouble your boyfriend to give me a hand and push me up the slope?”
It was an uphill stretch.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Yun Yi straightened her expression. “He’s a friend.”
The old man understood. His eyes shifted to Xiao Zhi, and he smiled kindly. “Young man, give me a hand?”
Xiao Zhi frowned. He had let it slide that the man didn’t kneel, but the address “young man” sounded rather dismissive.
The old man flashed a row of dentures. “This young lady’s bo~y~friend, if you would kindly—”
Before he could finish, Yun Yi’s cheeks flushed bright red. She hurriedly grabbed the wheelchair.
Xiao Zhi caught up and seized control of the wheelchair.
“Hey! If you don’t want to push, don’t force yourself!” Yun Yi reached out and touched the handlebars, only to be brushed aside by Xiao Zhi.
On either side of the road stood villagers’ self-built homes—vivid European styles contrasting sharply with the deep, muted tones of white walls and black tiles. Two rows of camphor trees spread their dark green canopies above.
On the freshly paved asphalt road, an ancient man pushed a modern elderly man, steadily climbing uphill.
The wheelchair gained speed.
Faster and faster.
Wind whistled past their ears, rippling the old man’s cheeks. “Spee-spee-speeding… spee-speeding…”
Ancient clashed with modern. A string of subtitled bubbles floated through Yun Yi’s mind.
Wheee— Something flew off the wheelchair, arcing through the air in a long, dark, shiny curve.
“My hair! My hair!”
The wig landed perfectly in Yun Yi’s steady hands.
“…” The subtitled bubbles exploded, one by one.
…
After two hours of rites, the Daoist priest took the towel for wiping sweat and pressed it to his forehead.
The village chief delivered a speech: “Let us give the Daoist priest our warmest applause for his hard work!”
Yun Yi pulled Xiao Zhi along as they blended into the crowd watching the rites.
Xiao Zhi was dissatisfied. “I… this humble one helped that old man, yet instead of thanking me, he glared at me?”
Such disrespect.
Yun Yi pulled a large mango from her pocket. “This is the old man’s thank-you gift.”
An unusual fragrance wafted from the fruit’s skin. Xiao Zhi paused, then asked, “Is this what immortal fruits look like?”
“Yes, yes, it’s a ginseng fruit.” Yun Yi didn’t want to debate ancient vs. modern with him. She went to a large vat nearby, scooped up some water, and washed the mango. “Eat one and live forever.”
Xiao Zhi watched as she skillfully peeled the mango skin, the sweet cloying scent growing even stronger.
Yun Yi handed it to him. “Taste it.”
Xiao Zhi’s gaze traveled from her cheek down to her fingers.
“What? Afraid it’s poisoned?” Yun Yi pressed.
At that moment, the ancient emperor was thinking to himself: Having just arrived in the immortal realm, a heavyweight immortal fruit like this—wouldn’t the immortal herself eat it first…?
“It’s not pig slop. It’s really good.” Yun Yi brought the mango to his lips.
Not having washed his hands, Xiao Zhi could only bite into it from her raised hand.
The intense sweetness made his mouth water. The immortal fruit tasted fine.
He took another large bite. His lips seemed to graze her fingertips, and his cheeks flushed.
“Is it very sour?” Yun Yi turned her head to the side. Seeing his face gradually turn red, resembling a pig’s head, she said, “Oh no—you’re not allergic to mangoes, are you?”
Xiao Zhi focused intently on gnawing the mango, trying to mask the tingling sensation on his lips.
Yun Yi stared blankly at his mouth. “Ah, mangoes have pits.”
Too late.
A sharp pain shot through Xiao Zhi’s teeth. Too proud to admit weakness, he said nothing.
The village chief handed the microphone to the elderly man in the wheelchair.
The old man adjusted his wig. Through the microphone came a thick local accent: “This international flight hit a flock of birds. One of the wings broke in half. I didn’t die on that plane—all thanks to the protection of the Xiao Family Village ancestors.”
“Just now, my wheelchair ran out of battery. I couldn’t turn the wheels. I’m old, my strength gone. The ancestors showed themselves again. A young couple helped push my wheelchair. The young man in the back who ate the entire mango peel—I’m praising you. The mango your girlfriend fed you was sweet, wasn’t it?”
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
All eyes stabbed toward the young man and woman standing at the outermost edge.
The village chief said, “Oh, isn’t that Teacher Yun’s daughter? Teacher Yun, Teacher Yun, your daughter and her fella are here.”
Yun Yi slowly crouched down, clutching the dragon robe.
Xiao Zhi looked down. A giant human-shaped mushroom had sprouted at his feet.
He was still gripping the mango pit in his fingers. Yun Yi hadn’t told him the peel wasn’t edible.
If only Wang Delan were here—he could just throw all the unwanted garbage to him.
“Yunbao?”
Xiao Zhi recognized the voice. It was identical to the voice of Yun Yi’s father from the distance-transmitting box.
“Your father is here.” The ancient emperor had no idea how serious the situation was.
Yun Yi spoke weakly. “Dad.”
“Here to watch the ancestral rites?” Yun Guoqiang smiled at his daughter, but his eyes scanned Xiao Zhi like a scanner.
The man was wearing a rather shabby set of ancient robes—clearly the cheapest option from an online store, sorted from low to high price.
Yun Guoqiang’s gaze moved upward. He saw no trace of glue along the man’s hairline—so it wasn’t a wig. Good boy. Growing long hair. Is the ‘Smat’ look back in fashion?
His face, eyes, eyelashes, nose, mouth—all as if 3D-modeled. Probably got bone shaving, double eyelid surgery, Korean eyelash implants, a nose bridge implant, and lip fillers.
“And this is?” Yun Guoqiang extended his hand.
Xiao Zhi lowered his eyes, considered for a moment, then reached back to return the handshake.
Yun Yi broke out in a nervous sweat and introduced dryly, “This is my dad. And this is Xiao Zhi.”
“Surname Xiao, huh.” Hmph. Some idle young man from Xiao Family Village, probably had his eye on his precious daughter at the ancestral rite.
Yun Guoqiang’s grip slowly tightened.
A flicker of surprise passed through Xiao Zhi’s eyes. Perhaps this is a test from an immortal? As the Son of Heaven in the human realm, how could I let an immortal look down on me? He increased the force of his handshake.
Yun Guoqiang’s expression gradually changed. “Ow…” It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!!!
Yun Yi stepped between them, pushing them apart with both hands.
“Dad! He’s my friend!”
Yun Guoqiang’s hand hurt and his heart felt cold, so he simply pursed his lips and said, “I’m still your real father!”
“…”
Yun Yi was genuinely afraid that his next question would be, “If your friend and I both fall into the water, who would you save first?”
Xiao Zhi stared at Yun Guoqiang, thinking to himself: The way people speak in the immortal realm, with no regard for rank or status, is quite interesting.
Yun Guoqiang noticed Xiao Zhi’s demeanor, which gave off an air of superiority, and immediately felt displeased. He steadied himself. As the elder, he couldn’t afford to lose face.
Since this person was his daughter’s friend, Yun Guoqiang pulled out a pack of Liqun cigarettes and offered one. “Want to have a smoke together?”
It was a test. A judgment.
If Xiao Zhi accepted, then on top of being a plastic-surgeried Smat, he’d also have the buff of a chain-smoker—no chance of getting any closer!
Xiao Zhi couldn’t recognize what Yun Guoqiang was holding. He remained composed. “No need.”
Refusal was the best approach.
Neither showing fear nor revealing his ignorance.
Yun Yi confiscated her father’s pack of Liqun in one swift move, sighing inwardly: Lin Zexu, I miss you so much here in Xiao Family Village.
He won’t smoke, fine. But not even a ‘thank you’? Yun Guoqiang had never been treated like this. Unable to hold back his emotions, he retorted, “Aren’t you my daughter’s friend? Why aren’t you greeting me properly?”
If this kid won’t call me ‘Uncle,’ does he want to be my father instead?
Remembering what Yun Yi had said earlier in response to the elderly man, Xiao Zhi repeated those exact words to Yun Guoqiang: “A male friend.”
Yun Guoqiang exploded on the spot. “Are you picking a fight with me?! ‘Male friend’? Do you need to emphasize that? Are you trying to drop the word ‘friend’ altogether?”
Yun Yi typed a few lines on WeChat.
Yun Guoqiang’s phone immediately lit up. His eyes brightened.
The call was from Yun Yi’s mother, who was abroad.
“Hello~ darling~”
Xiao Zhi: “…” Even the eunuchs in the palace weren’t as sycophantic as Yun Guoqiang.
“Ex-wife, thank you. I heard you’re picking a fight with Xiao Yi’s friend? Yun Guoqiang, repeat after me—’Our daughter is an independent individual. As a father, I should not interfere in her friendships.’”
Yun Guoqiang obediently repeated: “Our daughter is an independent individual. As a father, I should not interfere in her friendships.”
“Engrave that in your heart.”
“Darling…”
Click. The call ended.
Yun Guoqiang sent a few more messages, dejected. All of them went unanswered.
Xiao Zhi looked at Yun Guoqiang again. Where was that robust, full-of-energy man from just moments ago?
“Teacher Yun!” Little Liu came running over. The moment he saw Xiao Zhi standing beside Yun Guoqiang, his face twisted in terror.
Wasn’t that the freak who robbed him of his Hanfu in the alley?!
But with his teacher present, Little Liu could only force himself to stay calm.
Seeing that her father had work to attend to, Yun Yi pulled Xiao Zhi aside. “From now on, you can only introduce yourself as my friend. No adding gender qualifiers.”
Xiao Zhi: “Oh.” The immortal realm has so many rules. Fine, I’ll cut them some slack.
“Why is Little Liu looking at you like that?” Yun Yi asked further.
Oh, so the pants-wetter is called Little Liu. Seeing his cowering, timid demeanor, he looked like a lowly servant.
“Don’t tell me…” Yun Yi’s hands roamed over Xiao Zhi—lifting his sleeves, flipping up his robe—as she voiced her suspicion, “you stole Little Liu’s clothes?”
“It’s called borrowing.” Xiao Zhi cleared his throat and glanced toward the sky. A large bird was drawing a white trail high above.
“…”
After the discovery of that half piece of gold foil, the archaeological team had been reporting frequent successes.
Another half piece of gold foil had been unearthed, highly likely belonging to the same original piece.
Little Liu took out a DSLR camera.
The newly excavated gold foil was still covered in soil.
“Teacher Yun, look here—there’s a marking.”
Yun Guoqiang leaned in and zoomed in on the photo on the screen.
“The shape… it looks like a cloud in the sky.”
The sky was like a piece of indigo paper. The airplane plunged into the clouds and disappeared from view.
Before anyone realized it, two heads had appeared over Yun Guoqiang’s and Little Liu’s shoulders.
Little Liu shielded the camera screen. “Confidential material.”
Yun Yi: “Pfft.”
Xiao Zhi: “Heh.”
Provoked by their twin displays of passive aggression, Little Liu thought of what had happened to him earlier and clutched the camera protectively. “This is the research institute’s camera! It’s very expensive! If you dare steal it, I’ll call the police!”
Xiao Zhi had intended to hold back, but there was always some impertinent commoner yapping in his ear.
Seeing that the situation was about to spiral out of control, Yun Guoqiang stepped in to mediate. “It’s just some stuff dug up from the ground. I’m going to the site now to take a look.”
His casual tone made it sound like he was going to pull sweet potatoes from a field.
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