It was him!
Xiao Zhi’s name exploded in Yun Yi’s mind.
Without a second thought, she sprinted toward him at full speed.
The folklore student saw a suckling pig’s head hurtling toward him and froze in horror. Behind the pig’s head was a familiar face. He recognized her instantly. “He- Help!”
An hour earlier, after asking for directions, he had seen the girl drop a hair ribbon and had been about to call out to her.
But then he took a second look at the ribbon and was immediately captivated by its exquisite embroidery.
It was definitely not factory-machine embroidery you could buy on the market.
The dragon was so lifelike it seemed ready to leap off the silk.
This was an exceptional piece of research material.
He clenched the ribbon tightly, mocking himself for his pettiness.
But before the ribbon could even warm up in his hand, he ran into a madman.
“Are you going to confess or not?” Xiao Zhi asked.
An overwhelming pressure bore down on him. The young man went weak in the knees. “Your… your girlfriend… she’s here…”
Girlfriend? Xiao Zhi frowned. Since when did he have a friend who was female?
Whoosh—a bolt of lightning flashed at his feet. Before Xiao Zhi could react, someone grabbed hold of his left leg.
An assassin.
“Do-don’t—don’t kick—!”
The assassin even had a stutter.
Xiao Zhi instinctively lifted his left foot to kick the assassin away. But the assassin had anticipated the move, throwing both arms around his legs and locking them tight.
He immediately flung his arm, hurling the ribbon thief several meters away. The young man landed on the ground like a sack.
He looked down and saw a familiar cowlick.
The owner of the cowlick looked up, her voice tumbling out in a rush. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me!”
The heart that had been swinging unsteadily in his chest slowly settled back into place.
Yet Xiao Zhi refused to acknowledge the sense of calm that had crept over him. Still keeping a cold face, he asked, “What are you doing here.”
Stung by his icy tone, Yun Yi felt a surge of annoyance. She picked up the pig’s head on the fly and shoved it into Xiao Zhi’s arms out of spite.
Caught off guard, Xiao Zhi found himself locking eyes with the dust-smudged pig’s head.
He looked away and shot a sidelong glare at the young man. According to the law, theft warranted the amputation of one finger. Stealing an item intended for imperial use was punishable by death.
The folklore student immediately sensed trouble. He called out for help: “Miss, he squeezed so hard my blood vessels popped. If you hadn’t gotten here in time, he would have killed me. You believe me, don’t you?”
Xiao Zhi’s brow furrowed even tighter. For some reason, the dead pig’s head in his arms seemed to furrow its brow right along with him.
Ugly as hell.
The young man sensed danger. This madman was a head taller than him—at least 185 centimeters, no less.
Even dressed in ancient robes, he could lift a man with one arm. Beneath those loose garments was probably nothing but solid muscle.
The moment their eyes met, the young man dove into the fountain without hesitation, scrambled up the lotus statue in the center, and perched himself high up there.
All he’d done was pick up a hair ribbon, and he’d nearly gotten his neck wrung.
Yun Yi grabbed Xiao Zhi’s arm, successfully predicting what he was about to say.
“How dare you, you insolent peas—”
“—ant” was swallowed by Yun Yi’s palm.
Xiao Zhi’s mouth was clamped tightly shut by her hand. His nose and mouth were invaded by the rich smell of roast suckling pig.
Yun Yi coaxed him: “Your Majesty, please do me a favor. There are surveillance cameras everywhere here. The police will come for us.”
Were there assassins watching this place too? Xiao Zhi moved to shield her behind him. His wide sleeves swirled, stirring a gust of clean air.
“I cannot let him off,” he said.
Yun Yi: “…”
She was genuinely terrified that Xiao Zhi would be arrested by the public security bureau.
He had no ID, claimed to be the emperor—if he ended up in a detention center, the inmates would beat his ass to a pulp.
Yun Yi: “Listen to me. I’ll get back at him for you.”
Xiao Zhi lowered his eyes slightly, his expression unreadable.
The folklore student stiffened his back and warily observed the man and woman with their extremely bizarre behavior.
“You’ve practiced martial arts since childhood,” Yun Yi said in a low voice. “How good are your throwing skills?”
Xiao Zhi: “Naturally, second to none among mortals.”
“On the count of three.”
She pulled Xiao Zhi away from the fountain, walking faster and faster.
He understood immediately.
At Yun Yi’s call of “Three,” Xiao Zhi hurled the pig’s head backward with force!
The pig’s head traced a dark red arc through the air, landing squarely on the young man’s head.
“Run!”
Yun Yi grabbed the edge of Xiao Zhi’s sleeve and ran faster.
Noon.
The sun hung high in the sky. Their shadows stretched into two moving commas.
With every step, their hearts pounded violently.
[11:59:58]
[11:59:59]
[12:00:00]
On the dot, the fountain surged, drenching the young man atop the lotus from head to toe.
“Waaahhh—! You, you bullies!!!”
.
The Xiao Family Village ancestral hall was packed with villagers.
Many had returned from out of town—even elderly overseas Chinese had come back.
At the altar, the head disciple of Fuyun Monastery performed the rites with solemn dignity.
Amid the swirling incense smoke, drones circled back and forth.
The camera pulled back to reveal a massive offering table laden with all kinds of tributes. The most eye-catching was the centerpiece: a roasted suckling pig, its skin golden and crispy, glistening with oil, tied with a large red silk flower—exceptionally festive.
Behind the offering table, a small child bit into one of the pig’s trotters.
“Ow…” The cry of pain was drowned out by the Taoist priest’s chanting.
The village chief silently pulled his grandson aside. “No stealing food. The ancestors will get angry. The celestial master will punish you on their behalf, you know.”
The grandson said in a childish voice, “Grandpa’s lying. The celestial master is in America. If he could do magic, why wouldn’t he fly back?”
He had heard his grandfather on the phone: U.S. airlines were on strike. The master of Fuyun Monastery—Daoist Qingxuan—was on a business trip abroad and couldn’t return in time.
Such a grand occasion, and his grandson was spewing nonsense. The village chief huffed. “What nonsense! That’s the celestial master’s personally ordained senior disciple up there at the altar. He can turn you into a little monster.”
“Then I can beat up Ultraman! Yay!”
.
The two ran wildly down the path.
Yun Yi was exhausted. Seeing no one chasing them, she stopped, planted her hands on her knees, and gasped for air.
Xiao Zhi studied her attire. The ridiculous eunuch’s uniform was gone. The strange clothes she wore now were much like what she’d worn when they first met.
This place truly was different from the mythical realm of immortals described in legends.
His gaze drifted to her shoes. There was a curved hook on the side.
Was this a symbol of the immortal realm? Something like the Buddhist swastika?
They hadn’t seen each other for a month. The first words out of Xiao Zhi’s mouth were: “What does ‘sibal’ mean?”
“Si—” Yun Yi’s thoughts slid down the smooth surface of her cerebral cortex. She didn’t immediately grasp what Xiao Zhi meant.
Had the Emperor, who had transmigrated to 2026, also watched Dark Glory?
Xiao Zhi said, “You said that word during the opera. You truly don’t remember?”
The Emperor remembered that too…
If the Emperor were to punish her, it was clearly the Koreans who had corrupted her!
“It doesn’t mean anything.” Yun Yi closed her mouth. Of course she couldn’t let the Emperor know she had been cursing him.
“Truly nothing else?” Xiao Zhi had remembered it for an entire month, mulling over its meaning every night before sleep.
“It’s an incantation,” she thought to herself. A curse word.
Yun Yi’s gaze wandered, then settled on Xiao Zhi’s clothes.
On the front of his straight-lap robe were two bamboo-and-pine motifs, poorly embroidered, with loose threads hanging from the cuffs.
How had the Emperor fallen to such a state? Yun Yi asked, “Where are your magnificent robes?”
Had his brother seized power overnight? Or had enemies stormed the palace? Yun Yi’s mind conjured scenes of high-stakes ancient political intrigue.
Xiao Zhi turned his head away. “Swapped with someone.”
“?” Yun Yi’s pupils widened. Then widened further.
Xiao Zhi had arrived at this place an hour ago.
On the road, he encountered a kindly-looking elderly woman stepping out of a vehicle drawn by no horse—identical to Yun Yi’s. He quickly asked her, “Immortal, if I may ask, have you seen Yun Yi?”
“Yun as in cloud.” Xiao Zhi knew her surname but wasn’t certain of the characters in her given name. Thinking of her now, he regretted never having asked her name properly. Remorse churned in his heart.
He gestured. “About this tall, wearing eunuch’s clothes. A young lady.”
Eunuch? The elderly woman raised her brows. Before her stood a man in a dragon robe and a grand celestial crown. Even the village chief didn’t dress like that.
“You’re fucking insane!” The woman, who had married into a neighboring province and just returned to the village, shot him a glare. “Get your head straight, alright? This is Xiao Family Village. Outsiders don’t come here to shoot the shit.”
This was the immortal realm; he must not lose his temper with an immortal. Xiao Zhi took three deep breaths and adjusted his mindset.
He encountered several more people. They all gave him the same look.
Sensing something amiss, Xiao Zhi quickly tore off his magnificent celestial crown.
At that same moment, a dark shadow streaked across the sky!
A falcon dove down, its talons reaching out, and cleanly snatched the crown away.
“…” Even the eagles of the immortal realm bullied outsiders, did they?
The last time he had been this humiliated, he was still a child.
Xiao Zhi removed his dragon robe, leaving only his black inner garment. His eyes locked onto a young man walking alone.
He followed for a moment, then pulled the young man into a dark alley.
The young man’s eyes filled with terror. “Brother, I don’t have any money on me…”
“Not needed.” Xiao Zhi’s gaze fell on him.
The young man immediately clamped his legs together and crossed his arms over his chest. His voice cracked. “I have a disease! The kind where I pick up free meds every month! Don’t come any closer!”
Pathetic.
Xiao Zhi only wanted to find Yun Yi quickly without drawing unnecessary attention.
With a sweep of his palm, he stripped off the young man’s cheap robe.
Seeing a puddle forming beneath the young man’s calves, Xiao Zhi tossed him the dragon robe he had been holding in his hand.
“Compensation for wetting your pants. Take it to a pawn shop.”
“…”
.
Yun Yi pulled Xiao Zhi back to the scene of the crime.
A stray dog lowered its head, sniffing at the puddle on the ground.
The empty alley. The dragon robe was nowhere to be found.
It dawned on Yun Yi why Little Liu had been showering in broad daylight. Xiao Zhi had robbed him of his Hanfu—and scared him into wetting his pants.
“You are not allowed to hit people.” Her expression was deadly serious.
“I—”
“You are not allowed to call yourself ‘I’ as the emperor.”
“Then why should I listen to you?”
Sure enough, her serious face twisted into a grimace, and she scolded him loudly: “My turf, my rules!”
Fine. A Son of Heaven did not stand under a dangerous wall.
Once she came to the palace, he would not go easy on her.
Yun Yi flipped open a large green bin.
A dark cloud of “smoke” flew out.
Xiao Zhi watched her flail her arms, swatting at flies. So it seemed the immortal realm was not as wonderful as the legends claimed.
Yun Yi had already dug through several trash bins but still couldn’t find the dragon robe.
She called Little Liu a few times. No one answered.
The two searched the area. In the distance, Xiao Zhi spotted a giant ferocious beast, pure white except for its ears, eyes, and limbs, which were pitch black.
“Could it be the legendary white pi bear of antiquity?” Xiao Zhi turned his head to ask, but saw Yun Yi opening another trash bin. He grabbed her grimy hand and pulled her behind him.
Yun Yi leaned her head out from behind him and looked ahead.
“Oh! Old clothes recycling!” She broke free from his grip and ran toward the giant panda.
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