This kind of environment made Gong Ze start to worry for Lu Youling’s safety.
Not to mention the group of loafers they had encountered on the road—men wrapped in worn, tattered cotton jackets, crouching idly by the roadside doing nothing.
In the countryside back then, there were always some older bachelors who spent their days fighting, stealing chickens and dogs, and doing nothing productive. The villagers would curse at them, calling them loafers and scoundrels, both fearing and despising them.
There were many instances of young girls being harmed by such men in rural villages. But these men usually didn’t dare loiter around the center of the village—they only operated in remote areas. And unfortunately, Lu Youling’s house was in just such a remote spot.
As they passed by, the loafers’ eyes latched onto Lu Youling. They huddled together, muttering among themselves, their gazes and faces carrying malicious, unpleasant grins.
They stared openly until Gong Ze and the others had walked away.
If Gong Ze hadn’t been there, they might have followed, tugging and pulling at Lu Youling to test whether he was easy to bully. If Lu Youling showed fear, their behavior would have gotten worse.
If Lu Youling acted tough and fiery, they would bother him every few days, causing trouble like shameless flies—verbally harassing him, knocking on his door, or forcing their way into his house.
Like hyenas.
Picking on the weakest in the herd, impossible to chase away, until they got what they wanted.
In short, these little groups were absolutely repulsive in the countryside.
Gong Ze’s worry reached its peak.
He couldn’t bring himself to leave Lu Youling—a young woman alone—to live here. What difference was there between that and delivering a sheep to a pack of wolves?
The man’s brow furrowed deeply into knots. He thought to himself that he would go speak to the village chief and ask him to find Lu Youling another place to live.
But Lu Youling had been walking in a daze the entire way, his soul seemingly floating far off in the distance. He hadn’t noticed any of this.
When they arrived, Gong Ze used the key the village chief had given him to open the lock. He pushed open the gate and the house door. Inside the earthen house was only a table and a bench.
Even the straw mat on the kang was torn.
“It’s so run-down,” Shuisheng exclaimed in surprise.
Seeing this environment, Gong Ze couldn’t bear it. He turned to look at Lu Youling. “Let me talk to the village chief again. We’ll find you another place.”
But most of the rundown houses in the countryside were in remote locations. This one was actually relatively close to the village center.
Lu Youling shook his head dejectedly. “It’s fine. Don’t bother the village chief anymore. I can live here.”
Gong Ze frowned. “But—”
Lu Youling gave a pale smile. “Really, it’s fine. I’m not someone to be messed with either. Don’t worry.”
He wasn’t actually a girl. Those men wouldn’t get anything from him. And he had been alone even when he was a beggar. His courage had been forged long ago.
Gong Ze pressed his lips together in silence. After a moment, he said quietly, “Then let Shuisheng and me tidy up the place for you.”
“…Thank you, Gong Er.”
Gong Ze had brought many things for Lu Youling—bedding, some rice and flour to eat, candles, matches, and other things Lu Youling might need.
Shuisheng went to the west room to clean off the stove and look for tools, while Gong Ze and Lu Youling laid down the bedding.
There wasn’t much to tidy up in the earthen house anyway—just sweeping the floor and wiping down the table.
“Youling.”
Once everything was done, Gong Ze stood restrainedly at the door, not stepping any further inside.
He softly called Lu Youling’s name. Lu Youling knew that the moment of parting had finally come.
His eyes were dry and parched, his lips pale, as he looked back. Gong Ze took a small pouch from his pocket. Inside were some scattered banknotes and ten silver dollars.
“Take this money…”
Gong Ze watched Lu Youling’s grieving expression, his own chest aching with sharp pain.
He held himself back nonetheless and said quietly, “The small change is for you to use when buying things. Take a look around the house and get whatever you’re missing. In the village, small bills are easier to spend than large ones. Hide the silver dollars well—this should be enough to last you a year. If it’s not enough…”
Before he could finish, Lu Youling could no longer hold back. He threw himself forward and hugged him tightly.
This embrace broke the dam of feelings that both of them had been desperately holding back!
Gong Ze’s pupils shook. He stood stiffly, held tight.
Then his own eyes reddened as well. His voice hoarse, he said, “Youling… don’t…”
“Gong Er…”
Lu Youling buried his face in Gong Ze’s chest. Two dark, wet tear stains quickly bloomed on the fabric of Gong Ze’s coat.
On the way there, Lu Youling had hesitated and restrained himself over and over.
He didn’t want Gong Ze to keep worrying about him. Gong Ze had a better future ahead. Just as the village chief had said, Gong Ze would go to the capital, would marry a wealthy young lady from the capital.
But when he saw the suppressed affection in Gong Ze’s eyes, the worried instructions from a man who couldn’t stop caring about him—Lu Youling suddenly lost control of himself.
Even if this feeling came to nothing.
Even if it went unanswered. Even if they parted in the end.
He had to say it. He had to say that he liked him!
Gong Ze called his name in pain and tried to push him away. But Lu Youling bravely tilted his head up and pressed his lips forward. He wrapped his arms around the neck of this restrained, proper man and kissed him hard on the lips.
“Gong Ze… I like you. I like you… I was once the chongxi bride for your eldest brother. I know you care about my identity. But I don’t want to regret this…”
Lu Youling said through tears.
Under Gong Ze’s shocked gaze, he clumsily and inexpertly kissed the man’s mouth, self-destructively letting everything spiral out of control.
When he pried open Gong Ze’s lips and his tongue touched Gong Ze’s tongue, Gong Ze finally reacted. His hands, which had been trying to push Lu Youling away, changed into an embrace.
He wrapped his arms tightly around Lu Youling’s slender waist, pressing their bodies together from the neck down. Then he pushed his tongue into Lu Youling’s mouth in return, tangling fiercely, licking and teasing Lu Youling’s unseasoned palate.
He possessed the other’s soft lips, losing himself in the madness of the moment.
They still couldn’t hold back…
When Gong Ze responded, Lu Youling froze for a second in disbelief. Then, overjoyed, he threw his arms around Gong Ze’s neck, pressed closer, opened himself up completely, and tilted his head back to let Gong Ze explore him.
In the sweetness of the kiss, tears of both suffocation and happiness spilled from the corners of his eyes.
The two stumbled their way inside.
Lu Youling’s leg hit the edge of the kang, and he fell backward onto the bedding they had just laid out.
Both of them breathed heavily.
“Gong Er…”
Gong Ze nibbled at Lu Youling’s chin. As Lu Youling eagerly pulled him closer, Gong Ze pressed himself on top of Lu Youling and untied the soft, fine hair bundled at the back of his head.
The yellowish strands scattered across the earthen kang. Lu Youling tilted his head back, his chest heaving. Pinned between Gong Ze’s body and the kang, his soul felt an incomparable rush of exhilaration.
Gong Ze lifted his head. Both of them panted, their noses almost touching as they looked at each other.
With the pretense and restraint stripped away, their blazing, consuming love was laid bare.
It was as if their souls and bodies had both been ignited, desperate to merge into one.
Lu Youling even thought to himself: Why wasn’t I born as a real woman? Then he could take off his clothes and give his first time to Gong Ze.
Surely even the pain would be a happy experience.
Even though, for now, they only had a kiss.
Lu Youling bit his finger with his moistened lips, looking at Gong Ze with a mix of shyness and joy…
“Gong Er… hold me…”
At his words, the gentle, restrained man in front of him let madness pour from his eyes in an instant.
“Youling…” Gong Ze pulled him up, sitting him on the edge of the kang so that Lu Youling straddled his lap. His large hand slid under the back of Lu Youling’s clothes. He tilted his head up and engaged in a desperate, deep kiss with Lu Youling, who leaned down toward him.
Afterward.
Lu Youling draped his arms over Gong Ze’s shoulders, his cheek resting against Gong Ze’s forehead.
They held each other tightly, both out of breath. Shuisheng hadn’t returned yet, so they took the chance to lean into each other, their breaths mingling.
“Gong Ze, I like you. Do you want me?”
Lu Youling’s gaze was fixed on the man’s expression, pitiful and longing.
This time, Gong Ze finally didn’t look away. He met Lu Youling’s eyes seriously and said, “I do.”
Lu Youling hugged him tightly, overcome with emotion. This was the happiest moment of his life since traveling through time.
Gong Ze held him, gently stroking the hair that had been tousled from their moment just before. His heart was equally stirred yet tender. “From now on, stay with me, Youling. I’ll take you away from here. We’ll go to the capital.”
Lu Youling hadn’t expected Gong Ze to take him along. After his initial joy, he started worrying about his male identity being discovered. But in this moment, with this atmosphere, Lu Youling felt he would agree to anything.
He whispered, “Mm. I’m willing.”
After giving it serious thought, Gong Ze began to contemplate their future together.
If they had managed to hold back today, he would have buried this feeling deep in his heart, completed his revenge, and left with regret.
But the moment Lu Youling hugged him, Gong Ze had lost control.
Now that they had even kissed, and since Lu Youling was a “girl” and he was a man, having touched Lu Youling like this, he naturally had to take responsibility.
“Does it bother you… what happened between me and your brother in the past?”
As they basked in the afterglow, Lu Youling asked cautiously, unable to hide his worry.
“No. You two never actually performed the ceremony. Besides, my brother is dead. Both you and I are free people. As long as we’re together, I don’t care what anyone else says.”
Gong Ze stroked the back of Lu Youling’s neck, soothing him with a gentle voice.
His tenderness made Lu Youling want to drown in it.
Only when they heard the sound of Shuisheng’s approaching footsteps did Gong Ze and Lu Youling pull apart. They hastily tidied their disheveled clothes.
Lu Youling held a hair tie between his lips and gathered his loose hair with his hands. As he tied it up, he caught a glimpse of Gong Ze adjusting his pants and couldn’t help but smile bashfully to himself.
When Gong Ze had been on top of him, he had felt Gong Ze’s reaction.
Lu Youling was very happy about it.
But in the end, he was still a man. What if Gong Ze wanted to go further…?
Lu Youling started worrying again about how he would manage to hide the truth.
Maybe if they turned off the lights, it would work…?
·
Gong Ze stayed at Lu Youling’s new home until the sun went down.
For dinner, Lu Youling lit the fire, and Gong Ze took charge of the cooking. He boiled some rice and stir-fried a dish. Shuisheng had gone out and bought the oil, salt, and other ingredients.
After the meal, Gong Ze told Shuisheng to wait for him outside. Inside the house, he held Lu Youling close. The two kissed, unable to help themselves, for a long time before finally managing to part.
Gong Ze pressed his lips to Lu Youling’s ear and whispered:
“It’s not safe here at night. I’m worried those loafers we saw during the day might come by to bother you after dark. Lock all the doors and windows, and hide a kitchen knife under your pillow. After night falls, I’ll come keep you company through the back door. I’ll leave just before dawn. We’ll do this every night until we leave for the capital.”
Of course, he meant just coming to sleep—nothing more.
Lu Youling, feeling protected and cherished, hummed sweetly in response.
“I’ll do whatever you say.”
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