Yun Yi hadn’t expected the emperor to be so sharp—he guessed that she was inside the imperial seal.
—Hey, take your medicine already!
—Hey! Did I knock you stupid? I hit your lifeline, not your brain.
She couldn’t make him hear her.
Inside her head, Yun Yi had already arranged Xiao Zhi’s funeral arrangements. If he passed away, the imperial seal would naturally be passed to the next emperor. What if the new emperor turned out to be some old Mediterranean bald guy? Tsk… now that would be a horror show!
Whoosh—something flew through the air. Wang Delan fumbled to catch it, steadied it, and saw it was a thin silver box with several raised bumps on it.
Wang Delan was dumbfounded. “Your Majesty, what is this?”
Xiao Zhi was concise: “Eat it.”
Wang Delan broke out in a cold sweat. “This humble servant thanks His Majesty for the reward. I shall… go ahead and die now!”
He tilted his head back, about to swallow the “poison.”
“Fool.” The emperor’s displeased voice reached Wang Delan’s ear. “Did I say you could die?”
Wang Delan let out a huge sigh of relief and said weakly, “This humble servant obeys.”
Yun Wei felt relieved. The emperor was pretty sharp—he actually figured out that the things in the little bag were medicine.
Xiao Zhi scanned the simplified characters on the box, guessing as he read.
He understood the meaning of “reduce fever” and could more or less figure out “take two at a time.”
Though the character for “two” had been simplified to just two horizontal strokes, the meaning was clear—he knew it indicated quantity.
Xiao Zhi instructed Wang Delan: “Take two, let them dissolve in your mouth.”
But what happened next was nothing short of horrifying.
How could Wang Delan possibly know how to get the pills out of the blister pack? Since the emperor said two, he bit right down on the raised bumps on the pack.
Yun Yi, inside the imperial seal, was utterly floored: “The little eunuch is swallowing the whole blister pack! He’ll choke to death!”
Xiao Zhi shot the young eunuch a glare.
Suddenly struck by inspiration, the young eunuch switched to using his teeth to pry out two pills and, without changing expression, placed them in his mouth and swallowed them raw.
“Hiss…” Yun Yi had never seen anyone take Tylenol dry like that before.
“This humble servant thanks His Majesty for the medicine!” It wasn’t poison—he didn’t have to die. Wang Delan was tearful with gratitude.
Xiao Zhi observed for quite a while and, seeing the young eunuch was quite lively, felt reassured.
“You may withdraw.”
·
The surroundings grew quiet.
Xiao Zhi stared at the imperial seal. “Immortal medicine, no poison, right?”
His cheeks were as red as overripe strawberries. Yun Yi snorted: Just take it already. If you don’t, you’ll die too.
Xiao Zhi gently pressed the imperial seal against his cheek, his voice barely audible: “If I die, can I find you in the immortal realm?”
Yun Yi scolded him back: You worthless creature, are you really afraid the medicine is poisoned? Fine, fine, fine. You want to die. No one’s stopping you.
The incense burner sent up thin curls of smoke.
The emperor naturally couldn’t hear her. His heart pounded fiercely. Suddenly, he smiled—whether he was speaking to her or to himself, he didn’t know. “I’m teasing you.”
Yun Yi watched him take out several pills—some anti-inflammatory, some fever-reducing—and portion them out according to the dosages written on the boxes.
She sat cross-legged: Pretty clever for an emperor. Smarter than a border collie.
Xiao Zhi gathered the pills in his palm, stared at them for a long moment, then tipped the entire handful into his mouth.
As if chewing candy beans, he crunched the pills down raw and dry. His brow gradually furrowed, creasing into a “川” shape.
The emperor’s expression was even worse than the young eunuch’s had been when he took his medicine.
“I know, the immortal medicine isn’t meant to be swallowed, right? Chewing it is the only way to get the miraculous effect.”
Yun Yi clapped her hands together: There you go again, knowing everything…
—
The news that the emperor had been attacked and severely injured shook the court.
Before dawn, the ministers waiting for the morning audience had already gathered in the inner court’s side hall.
“I heard His Majesty developed a high fever last night. What are we going to do?”
“That’s not all…” another minister said in a low voice. “His Majesty’s hand was run through by a sword.”
The ministers’ scalps went numb.
Xiao Li leaned lazily, pinched a piece of preserved fruit between two fingers, and popped it into his mouth.
He chewed noisily, savoring it.
Last night, he had been drunk in his new concubine’s arms and nearly missed the morning audience. His mother the Empress Dowager had sent a secret message: the three death warriors had all committed suicide on the spot, leaving no survivors. According to Imperial Physician Zhang’s secret report, the emperor’s high fever was recurring, and the wound on his hand had festered and was oozing pus.
Ha. The emperor surviving the assassination was just his tough luck. But even the toughest couldn’t withstand such a fierce onslaught of illness, could he?
At this thought, Xiao Li’s brow relaxed considerably.
“The emperor has arrived!”
Xiao Li’s legs stiffened as he performed the full kowtow ritual.
“Rise.” The Son of Heaven on the dragon throne wore an ordinary expression, his sharp demeanor undiminished.
Inside the imperial seal, Yun Yi’s ears were flooded with all kinds of voices from the court. Everything around her was pitch black, and she felt drowsy.
“Properly shelter the displaced refugees, set up porridge stations, and use relief work as a form of aid when necessary.”
“I oppose this. The refugees should be dispersed promptly. Allowing them to linger will disrupt the livelihoods of ordinary citizens.”
…
“The Northern Di have repeatedly violated our borders and harassed the people. Order General Xue to station troops in the north for defense.”
“In this minister’s view, that suggestion is inadvisable.”
“My decision is made.”
Awakened by the arguing voices below the hall, Yun Yi let out a huge yawn. Having stayed up all night and then accompanied the emperor to work a 996 shift, her face practically bore the words “life is meaningless.”
Hidden inside Xiao Zhi’s robe sleeve, her sense of hearing had become exceptionally sharp.
The man whose words were laced with daggers, constantly opposing the emperor, seemed to be Xiao Zhi’s younger brother.
What, even after becoming emperor, he still couldn’t sit securely on the dragon throne? She rolled over in irritation.
No sooner had she rolled over than a large hand reached in and stroked the beast’s head atop the imperial seal.
A soothing gesture.
Yun Yi’s head was being rubbed all over by his palm: Hey, where are you touching? I’m not a cat.
—
The ministers returned with their memorials bearing vermilion endorsements.
Cen Ni held his up to the window, letting the light through the lattice illuminate the imperial seal.
“This seal,” he examined it closely against the light, “is crisp and solid.”
It was no different from the seal impressions made when the late emperor was alive.
Then what were those flimsy, floating seal impressions from earlier?
Another minister sighed. “It seems His Majesty’s hand injury has indeed affected his bones and tendons… He can’t even muster the strength to stamp the seal properly.”
The emperor’s loyalists sang in unison: “His Majesty’s sacred body is so severely damaged, yet he still diligently tends to state affairs, laboring day and night for the sake of the realm. How dare we ministers slack off for even a moment?”
The anti-emperor faction was dumbfounded: The emperor’s hand shakes and he stamps a crooked seal, and they can spin gold out of that?
Recently, Fifth Prince Xiao Li had submitted several memorials, all of which were returned by the emperor.
The emperor’s brush comments read as follows:
[I see it.]
[I am aware.]
The imperial seal on the signature line made Xiao Li even more furious.
Everyone else’s memorials received a single seal impression, including those of the anti-emperor faction.
Only his received multiple large seals, one after another.
Yes, this was intentional on Yun Yi’s part.
From her days of observation, she had noticed that after reviewing each memorial, the emperor would place the imperial seal beside it to let the ink paste dry.
This task had originally been handled by Xiao Zhi’s chief secretary, Wang Delan. But recently, with Wang Delan unwell, the emperor had taken over himself.
There were countless memorials. The characters of the ancient people were bold and forceful, but those of Fifth Prince Xiao Li, sandwiched among them, looked like earthworms doing drunken boxing—hideously ugly. Yun Yi wriggled her body. For some reason, those ugly characters really grated on her.
Xiao Zhi tapped Xiao Li’s memorial with his finger and ratted him out to the imperial seal: “He’s bullied me since we were children. Why don’t you make an appearance and bully him back for me?”
The moment he finished speaking, the imperial seal stamped several messy impressions onto the memorial.
Xiao Zhi was somewhat surprised. He tried stamping other memorials, but they all came out normal.
Xiao Zhi hadn’t expected that even after becoming an immortal, Yun Yi would still possess the seven emotions and six desires of a mortal. A faint smile crept to the corners of his lips. “Are you avenging me?”
Yun Yi scoffed: Pfft. Don’t flatter yourself.
When the imperial seal made no further response, Xiao Zhi’s smile slowly faded. “Why won’t you come out?”
Yun Yi: How?
Climb out of the imperial seal like the ghost in The Ring and scare your little brother to death?
—
The imperial guard captain reported on the interrogation. The palace attendant whose tongue Xiao Zhi had cut out refused to confess.
Xiao Zhi covered the imperial seal with his palm.
Yun Yi’s ears were muffled. She could only hear faint sounds, most likely the emperor instructing the guards to use torture.
She truly couldn’t imagine how a future tyrant could have been bullied by his younger brother as a child.
Days passed in succession.
The emperor’s hand healed. The bedridden eunuch who attended him recovered as well.
The imperial physicians were overjoyed.
“We never imagined that the decoctions we prepared would have such miraculous effects!”
Even Imperial Physician Zhang, who had been sent by the Empress Dowager to take the emperor’s pulse, spoke with newfound confidence. Physician Zhang was practically a divine healer in the flesh.
But Xiao Zhi still hadn’t seen Yun Yi reappear. He grew worried—afraid that after she blocked the hidden weapon for him, her immortal spirit had been damaged, forcing her to withdraw her physical form and hide inside the imperial seal to recover.
He stopped calling her “little thief.”
“Yun Yi,” Xiao Zhi pressed his warmed hand against the imperial seal, “come out.”
The imperial seal did not move. It sat silently on the desk. Inside, Yun Yi had worn herself out from all the “work” and was sleeping soundly.
The attendants nearby thought the emperor had gone mad.
—
Elder Imperial Brother Xiao Qian’s voice arrived before he did: “The emperor brother’s devotion to state affairs is a blessing for the people of Great Yan.”
Xiao Zhi glared back at him but, for the first time, didn’t chase him away.
Xiao Qian looked at the emperor’s dark expression. “Tsk, had a fight with your little tiger? Where have you hidden her?”
“Get out.”
“See? He’s upset.” Seeing his younger brother’s barely concealed murderous aura, Xiao Qian was pleased. “Had a fight? Tell me about it.”
Xiao Zhi clutched the imperial seal and said nothing.
Xiao Qian spread his hands. “Look at you, clinging to that thing like a treasure. Don’t worry, I have no interest in fighting you for your throne.”
Xiao Zhi: “…”
The face that seemed carved from the same mold as the emperor’s left with one parting shot: “Be a good emperor. Once she sees you’ve got your act together, maybe she’ll come back.”
Yun Yi rubbed her eyes. A blurry figure seemed to drift away.
When she looked up again, Xiao Zhi was right there, his eyes brimming with unreadable emotion.
—
The emperor became a workaholic.
And Yun Yi, whose soul had been trapped inside the imperial seal, became an assembly-line stamper.
She was exhausted. Her body felt sticky all over. Her backside was stained with ink paste.
There was no pay. There were no benefits.
He was driving her to the brink of a nervous breakdown.
Night after night, the emperor refused to sleep and wouldn’t let anyone else sleep either. He summoned the celestial master late at night.
The night wind ruffled the celestial master’s white hair. “Your Majesty, the gate to the immortal realm cannot be opened again for three more years.”
Xiao Zhi was silent for a moment. “You don’t need to come tomorrow.”
The celestial master was overjoyed—he could finally return to his temple. “This humble priest thanks Your Majesty for your grace! I shall return to—”
“Go to the heavenly prison instead.”
“…”
Seeing how the emperor treated the celestial master, everyone in attendance held their breath, terrified of making the slightest misstep.
Yun Yi watched as a palace maid, trembling violently, held out the emperor’s fur-lined cloak. She shook it open, hesitated for a long time, but couldn’t even muster the courage to put it over his shoulders.
The cloak was embroidered with golden dragon patterns in dark thread. Its collar and cuffs were trimmed with a band of fine silver-black sable fur. The emperor avoided the maid’s hands, took the cloak directly, and casually bundled it up in the crook of his arm.
Right—he was covering the imperial seal with a “little blanket,” terrified that it might catch a chill.
Yun Yi, wrapped inside the cloak, felt like she was suffocating. Her desire to go home reached its peak.
I worked so hard during the day, and I can’t even sleep at night. You shake me awake and drag me outside to stargaze with that celestial master.
In everyone’s eyes, the new emperor had become almost obsessive: whether eating, sleeping, or bathing, the imperial seal never left his side. Even when changing clothes, he made Wang Delan stand guard and strictly forbade anyone from coming near.
The anti-emperor faction interpreted it privately: His Majesty is like a startled bird, constantly fearing someone will seize the palace and usurp the throne.
The emperor’s behavior made the Empress Dowager and the Fifth Prince’s faction pause temporarily, waiting to see how things would develop.
A bright star streaked across the sky and vanished in an instant.
Desperate to make up for his mistakes, the celestial master pointed at the sky. “Your Majesty! A celestial omen! A strange star has pierced the Purple Microcosm and is falling straight toward the northeast!”
Amid the vast expanse of stars, two pitch-black eyes gleamed through the gaps in the cloak.
The celestial master continued, “This humble priest has consulted the ancient texts. This astronomical phenomenon is recorded in the Astronomical Revelations of the Heavenly Beginning from a thousand years ago. According to ancient divination, its next appearance would be… a thousand years later.”
The group of ancient people buzzed with excitement.
Yun Yi was speechless. It’s just a comet. You ancient people have never seen one before?
Just as the starlight flared, Xiao Zhi felt a sudden, heavy weight drop into his embrace. The force of it was so great that he dropped to one knee, his arms instantly tensing. His other hand, acting on instinct, reached into his cloak—and pulled out a furry head.
His knee caught the bend of someone’s leg. The “thing” in his arms, startled by the sudden change, let out a short, surprised cry.
Xiao Zhi reacted swiftly. He threw the cloak over the figure’s head and wrapped it tight. “Don’t make a sound.”
“Mm—”
When everyone looked up at the sound, all they saw was the emperor’s dragon robe billowing as he vaulted like a master martial artist onto the glazed roof tiles.
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