From the Su family yard, less than a dozen paces from the Zhai house, came a faint sound—the careful, deliberate closing of a wooden gate, as if the person shutting it was afraid of disturbing someone.
Inside the newly closed yard, Su Chi leaned against the door he’d just shut, his hands behind him gripping the bolt tightly. He stood there, unmoving, for a long while.
He’d been carrying his things home and was almost at his gate when he suddenly spotted Meng Dongxue standing at the entrance of the Zhai house. Meng Dongxue was as proud as ever, chin held high, eyes shining as he looked at Xie Yushu. The two of them were talking, their hands passing a handkerchief between them in an intimate gesture.
His heart had lurched. He’d hurried inside and closed the gate.
Then he remembered what Liu Fūlang had mentioned in passing some time ago—that Meng Dongxue had come to the Zhai house to see Xie Yushu. Back then, he’d thought it had nothing to do with him, assuming Xie Yushu was of dubious character and not caring what Meng Dongxue did.
But this time… he felt something he couldn’t name.
Did they see each other often?
It was no secret that many women in the village were attentive to Meng Dongxue—even someone as uninterested in gossip as Su Chi knew that.
But Meng Dongxue was indeed pretty—a fair, delicate young man with bright, watery eyes, and his clothes were always cleaner than others’. He stood out, naturally likable—unlike himself.
Su Chi glanced at his own sleeve, still dusted with flour. His tongue was clumsy too—dull and awkward, unable to charm anyone. Of course, he wasn’t likable.
So it made sense that Meng Dongxue was a little arrogant. He ignored most people, barely gave them a glance, and was distant with other young men too—not one to hang out with them.
But he’d come to see Xie Yushu more than once. Did he like her?
Su Chi’s mind churned with guesses.
They would make a good match—both good-looking. Though, privately, Su Chi thought Xie Yushu was the more striking of the two.
A young man like Meng Dongxue—anyone would like him.
Would she… like that kind of young man?
The thought had barely surfaced when another came rushing in.
The handkerchief she’d used to wipe his tears—he’d washed it carefully and kept it under his pillow.
Could it be… that the handkerchief Xie Yushu had given him had originally come from Meng Dongxue?
Had she just passed along Meng Dongxue’s gift to him?
The moment he thought of it, his grip on the door bolt tightened. His lips pressed into a thin line, curving downward, his brow furrowed in displeasure.
This—this was too much!
His thoughts were in turmoil now, a heavy weight in his chest.
What was he really upset about?
That she’d casually passed along a young man’s feelings to him? Or that she’d accepted something from another man?
Or was it…
He didn’t dare think further. He went back inside, pulled the bamboo-embroidered handkerchief from under his pillow, and clutched the soft fabric tightly. Only after a long while did he loosen his grip.
Xie Yushu, timing it right, figured Su Chi would be home by now. She went over to drop off a basket of firewood. But no matter how she knocked, there was no answer. So she set the basket down and went back.
It was a long time before Su Chi finally came out. He picked up the basket from outside the gate and stared at the carefully selected kindling.
That whole night, he held Xie Yushu’s handkerchief and couldn’t sleep.
—
The next day, when Xie Yushu found the handkerchief pressed back into her hand, her ears still seemed to ring with Su Chi’s words:
“I’ve washed this handkerchief and returned it to you. You shouldn’t give such things to a man so casually.”
“If a man gives you something, you should treasure it. Don’t do this again.”
He’d left those two sentences and walked away without looking back, leaving a thoroughly confused Xie Yushu.
He’d come quietly to return the handkerchief and left her with those baffling words.
Why return a gift? Was he rejecting it? Disliking her gesture?
The first sentence she understood—she hadn’t thought it through at the time. It was indeed too personal to hand to a man so casually. But in her eyes, giving it to Su Chi had seemed perfectly natural.
They were good neighbors, after all. Surely that wasn’t so inappropriate.
But what did he mean by the second sentence?
Which man had given her anything? And why had Su Chi walked off mid-sentence?
He seemed upset—his face had been sour when he arrived, and even worse when he left. What had she done now?
All she’d done was give him a handkerchief to wipe his tears. Was that really such a big deal? Or was there something else going on?
Xie Yushu rubbed her face in frustration.
What was wrong with him?
So baffling.
Completely baffling.
What followed far exceeded Xie Yushu’s expectations. She never imagined that a single handkerchief would send their relationship back into a deep freeze.
These past few days, whenever she went to town to buy buns, Su Chi wouldn’t even look at her. He wouldn’t lift his head. And when they happened to meet in the village, he’d deliberately avoid her gaze, doing everything to keep from making eye contact. It was as if they’d gone back to square one.
She wasn’t stupid—no matter how dense, she could feel the distance he was putting between them.
Another sweltering night. No breeze outside. The village was so quiet that only the rustling of insects could be heard. Her room was pitch black. Xie Yushu lay in bed, eyes wide open, sleepless, tossing and turning, letting out long sighs.
It was unbearably hot. She wasn’t even using a blanket; the bamboo mat stuck to her neck. She fanned herself with a palm-leaf fan, sprawled out on the bed, racking her brain over Su Chi’s behavior toward her during the day.
One frustrating image after another flashed through her mind, and she was ready to explode.
They’d been doing so well just a few days ago—truly, they’d been like close neighbors. How had everything changed?
One moment, they were exchanging food and helping each other with yard chores. He’d even sneaked over that night to mend her clothes! And made so much delicious food for her!
She’d even caught glimpses of his faint, unconscious smiles.
And then—just like that—he stopped talking to her. Out of the blue. No warning. What kind of neighbor did that?
The more she thought about it, the more her anger burned, almost eclipsing the summer heat. Suddenly, she shot up from the creaky bed like a fish leaping out of water, her eyes blazing at the wall as if she could bore a hole through it with her fiery gaze.
Then, a spark lit in her mind.
She understood.
She’d combed through every possible reason he might be upset, and finally, it clicked.
First, she’d accidentally touched his hand. Then she’d given him a handkerchief. Su Chi probably thought she was too casual, didn’t respect boundaries between men and women, and got upset again.
But that first time was an accident—and he knew that. Maybe he’d been stewing over it?
Men in this world were thin-skinned and cared deeply about their reputation. The more Xie Yushu thought about it, the more it made sense.
And the more it made sense, the angrier she got.
How petty!
Fine—she’d just let him touch her hand back!
She decided that’s exactly what she’d do tomorrow. With that resolution, she pulled her blanket over herself and tried to sleep.
The next day, Xie Yushu waited at home all day for Su Chi. When she saw that he’d finished his chores after coming back, she seized the moment. She stormed into the Su house, grabbed his hand, and pressed it flat against her palm.
“There. You can touch it.”
“Once you’ve touched it, you can’t be mad anymore.”
Su Chi had been mixing chicken feed in a wooden basin when Xie Yushu’s rough, sudden grab startled him so much that the basin dropped, scattering feed all over the ground.
The moment their palms touched, they felt each other’s warmth. Su Chi froze, body rigid, his heart pounding like a drum. He quickly tried to pull his hand away, but Xie Yushu was faster—she pressed his hand back against her palm, refusing to let go.
He was terrified now, his face flushed crimson as he struggled to break free. “What are you doing?! Let go!”
Why had she suddenly grabbed his hand like this? And she was so strong—he couldn’t pull away at all.
“There. You touched it. Now you can’t ignore me anymore. No more being mad.” Xie Yushu’s gaze was fixed on him intently.
Her words were as forceful as her actions, yet they carried a strange, pitiable undertone.
“The first time, I accidentally touched your hand. So now you can touch mine—we’re even.” She said it earnestly, as if settling a very serious matter.
Su Chi immediately understood—she’d noticed his cold demeanor these past few days and knew he was upset.
He had indeed been angry at Xie Yushu—but not about that. Yet he couldn’t voice the real reason. Saying it would only make her think he had feelings for her, which would make things even worse.
Their palms were still pressed together.
He’d been working, so his palm was slightly damp with sweat, a little clammy. Xie Yushu’s hand, by contrast, was clean, dry, and warm, completely covering his.
Her hand was noticeably larger than his—long, broad, and smooth, like the hand of someone who didn’t do rough work. Against hers, his own work-worn hand looked coarse and calloused.
Su Chi wanted to pull away even more now. He pleaded softly, “Th-Then let go of my hand first.”
Xie Yushu had made up her mind. She knew her actions were inappropriate, but the thought of Su Chi being angry with her made it hard to eat or drink. She just wanted him to forgive her.
“No.”
Su Chi’s eyes darted around nervously, checking that no one was watching. He lowered his voice further. “I’m not angry anymore—please let go.”
Hearing his assurance, Xie Yushu relented and released his hand, still checking: “Really?”
“Mm.” Su Chi withdrew his hand, still anxious for her. “You should go now—before anyone sees.”
She didn’t care about being seen, but she didn’t want to cause trouble for Su Chi. She nodded solemnly. “I’ll go in a bit. I’m glad you’re not angry anymore. I must have forgotten to apologize that day—so you had every right to be upset.”
The more she said, the more guilty Su Chi felt. His face flushed even redder.
He’d long since stopped being angry about that. All he wanted now was for her to leave so he could try to calm his racing mind.
Xie Yushu studied his face openly, trying with her limited ability to read people to decipher what he was feeling.
But she still felt like he hadn’t really forgiven her. His face was still red with anger—or at least, that’s what she thought.
Though he’d said he wasn’t angry, his expression hadn’t relaxed at all. Worried he was still upset, she was about to say something to soothe him when his small gesture hurt her.
Under her intense, probing gaze, Su Chi grew so nervous that his eyes dropped timidly—he wouldn’t, couldn’t, meet her eyes.
Seeing his clear intent, Xie Yushu sighed deeply. She didn’t want to pressure him. Dejected, she turned and left.
After she’d finally been persuaded to go, Su Chi sagged with exhaustion. He splashed his face with cold water to cool the heat, then shut himself in his room, his mind churning with chaotic thoughts.
Back at the Zhai house, Xie Yushu thought: This is it. I’ve made it worse. He won’t even look at me now.
She must have pushed him too hard. She cursed herself for being so rash.
She’d managed to make even easygoing Su Chi this angry—was she really that bad at soothing a man?
What was she supposed to do?
For the first time in her life, she felt completely at a loss.
—
That morning, Su Chi had been busy in the fields early, then came back and finished all his yard chores. He wasn’t going to his stall today, because Wang Wen had woken up early for a change—a rare occurrence—and he wanted to finish his work quickly so he could spend more time talking with him.
Xie Yushu had also woken early. She was still thinking about Su Chi being angry with her, and it had been eating at her for days. She kept looking for the right moment to talk to him.
She’d been secretly watching his movements and saw he wasn’t going to town today. She was quietly pleased—finally, a chance to talk—only to realize that even when he wasn’t at his stall, he was still too busy to spare a moment.
She thought about offering to help, but feared making him angrier. So she decided to observe from the shadows instead.
After waiting a long while, she saw him finally finish up and come out, walking briskly. She slipped out and followed.
He was walking fast, but she had no trouble keeping up. Then he suddenly turned—head down, not looking where he was going—and with a dull thump, collided squarely with Xie Yushu’s solid chest.
He’d been moving quickly, so the impact was hard. He seemed to have hurt himself, letting out a small hiss as he clutched his forehead.
Xie Yushu, startled by the collision, immediately reached out to steady his wobbling frame. She leaned in, worried. “Let me see—are you hurt?”
Realizing it was her, Su Chi relaxed a little and obediently lowered his hand. Xie Yushu saw the red mark forming on his forehead. Almost without thinking, she raised her hand to rub it for him—and then followed through.
But before her fingers could touch him, he quickly stepped back, pulling away. She froze, stunned.
He shook his head, saying he was fine, and tried to hurry past her.
Xie Yushu, confused, grabbed his arm. “What’s the rush?”
He quickly explained: “Father’s condition flared up—he’s in terrible pain. I need to go into town to fetch Doctor Li.”
Wang Wen had woken up with unusual energy that morning. Su Chi had thought—finally—the medicine was working, and he’d wanted to spend some time talking with him. But then, without warning, Wang Wen clutched his chest, couldn’t speak, broke out in a cold sweat, then was drenched in it and vomited repeatedly.
Su Chi had been so terrified he’d almost cried. He’d rushed out the door to find a doctor—and ran straight into Xie Yushu.
After hearing him out, Xie Yushu stopped him. “I’ll go. I know a very skilled doctor in town. You stay with your father—I’ll be back as fast as I can.”
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